Special Nonexistent Furniture
Updated 5 March 2021

Which table are you?



Fun & fab, or traditional with a twist? Editor Victoria Baker explains what your table setting says about you, and why you should care.

Yes, your table setting matters. Don't let anyone tell you the food is what's really important.  In this case, style and substance are inextricably linked.

In the same way that fast food tastes better by candlelight, a great meal is diminished when your host throws a packet of paper table napkins on the table.

It's not about etiquette or formality – although bringing out the crystal will certainly lift the tone - it's about making your guests feel special.

When you set the table, you set the mood. Build up a collection of different looks over time so that Auntie Marg's 80th lunch looks different to margaritas and Mexican with the neighbours.

We've done the hard work, putting together 3 different table looks. Not sure which one suits you? Diagnose your table type with our handy guide.



NEUTRAL LUXE
You're celebrating:  Your neighbours' successful property sale

You're serving: Slow cooked lamb, kale salad for your paleo guests and an artisanal cheese plate

You're drinking: Chilled rosé and Italian sparkling water

You're listening to: U2's Songs of Innocence, downloaded for free on your iPhone

You're talking about: Activated almonds

Styling tip: Leave your linens unironed for a more relaxed feel



FUN & FAB
You're celebrating: An upcoming trip to Mexico/Greece/any place you can hang with the locals and soak up the culture, while also enjoying cheap cocktails and lots of sunshine

You're serving: Pulled pork sliders and a gelato cake from Messina

You're drinking: Blueberry spritzers and Capi sparkling soft drinks

You're listening to:  Kanye (even after the wheelchair gaffe)

You're talking about: the new small bar that your friend's friend's boyfriend's friend just opened  

Styling tip: Use single blooms in small bottles and glasses for a colour pop without a big investment



TRAD WITH A TWIST
You're celebrating: A significant birthday

You're serving: Maggie Beer's roast chicken, the potato bake you've been refining for years and an avocado-filled green salad

You're drinking: Pimms and Champagne

You're listening to:  Your favourite Italian tenor, plus Frank Sinatra and the Beach Boys

You're talking about:  An interview you heard on Radio National this week

Styling tip: Steer away from traditional silver with on-trend copper cutlery

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